O That Chuck Norris Would Melt!

I want to show you all some examples of the work that I'm getting from your weekend assignment. I encourage you to read these and comment on them. The first is from Robert Nichols.

O, that this too too idiotic Chuck Norris phase would pass,
Die and remain dead itself into a forgotten fad!
Or that the Internet nerds had not fix'd
Their web pages 'gainst Chuck-Norris! O God! God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,
Seem to me all the uses of this Name, Chuck Norris!
CHUCK! NORRIS! 'tis an unweeded garden,
That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely. He's just a man!
But two months into the fad: nay, not so much, not two:
So excellent a joke; that was, to this,
Hyperion to a satyr; so loving to my humor
That his round-house kicks could beteem the winds of heaven
and visit villian's faces too roughly. Heaven and earth!
Must I remember? why, he would beat on them,
As if increase of ass kickings had grown
By what it beat on: and yet, within a month--
Let me not think on't--Frailty, thy name is a killed joke!--
A little month, or ere those jokes were old
With which people follow'd one joke after the other,
Like Pokemon, all fads:--why he, even he!--
O, God! the Vin Diesel phase, that wants discourse of reason,
Would have last'd longer--a lot like the Norris,
Like Chuck Norris's brother, but no more like Chuck Norris
Than I to David Hasselhoff: within a month:
Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous jokes
Had left the flushing in his galled Round-House Kicks,
we loved. O, most wicked speed, to let a joke
With such dexterity to let die and burn!
It is not nor it cannot come to good:
But break, my heart; for I hate Chuck Norris jokes.

Robert Nichols
Period 6